Hate
by The.Clown.That.Smiles
Summary: Edgar doesn't understand why he hates people.


Hi Guys! It's been awhile I know. Doesn't life get in the way? I have been doing a lot of writing of my own but just haven't had much inspiration to write on the Lost boys, that and I haven't really been bothered to as well. Anyway, here is a little piece I did back a month ago. Go easy on me if it's crusty. It has been awhile.

* * *

Edgar hated people. He couldn't really give you a full reason on why. Maybe it was because he had witnessed too many silly girls putting their trust into complete strangers or really because he was afraid, afraid of getting too close to someone and losing them like he had with so many others. Or it could have been because he hated how they all pretended to understand, at least for a little while they did. Though they held sympathy and deep sorrow Edgar hadn't seen before, they still never could fully understand. They never would until it would happen to them and even then he knew their pain could never match his. He was entirely sure of that.

He hated people because of their pretense of understanding.

What tortured him more was that not even he could fully understand his own emotions but that was probably down to him always having to be the strong one, the one who could face the dark, taking care of another and being the Protector one needed in their life. Edgar, from such a young age, had always been the adult. He never had a chance of a normal childhood like, say, Sam had. Sammy. It pained him whenever he thought of Sam. It pained him of the memories that burned in his mind of all those years ago with the three of them in Santa Carla.

The awesome monster bashers. In his mind, Edgar smiled. His lips curled up a millimeter but on the outside his face remained one of a stone mask. It was even harder for Edgar to look at himself and try and accept the pain, the acceptance and then the fight to move on. He wanted to turn to something. Alcohol? Drugs? Even sex perhaps? But Edgar knew it would do nothing. It would stop the pain for a moment but it could never make it go away. No, what made him feel a fraction better inside was when every time he came across a bloodsucker, he would see himself standing behind the scenes, watching someone even he didn't recognize, someone he feared, drive a sharp stake through the monsters heart, silencing it forever. He thought of Sam when he watched them burn up, then become nothing but a pile of ash underneath his feet. Other times he saw Sam on the floor, saw his foot pressed up against his throat and then saw the terror on Sam's face when in one savage thrust, the stake pushed it's way through the rib-cage crunching of bone, squelching of flesh until he felt it hit the target mark. And Sam would disappear the moment the vampire did.

Edgar satisfied for that present time would silently walk away, just the faintest moisture in the corner of his eye. It hurt like a son of a bitch, but it was more anger and resentment and hate for every living thing on Earth than the pain it kept causing him, both mental and physical.

He had lost everything after everything he had done for people. His Parents had been taken from him before he was even born. The drugs were thanked for that. His childhood had been robbed before it had even had a chance to exist; it was just something he saw in other Children, a broken dream. He had saved so many lives from being taken, he had slain so many Monsters and after all the duties and sacrifices, people had been taken from him. He wanted to blame, too hate and have resentment in his heart. He hated the ones who pretended to care. They tried and after awhile they expected it was his time to move on. It was easy for them as they hadn't lost the most important thing in their lives.

Alan.

Alan was everything to him, a Brother, a Best Friend and one who kept him on a well balanced level. It was as if Alan had always kept Edgar up-straight, not the reverse as Edgar didn't seem to be able to stand quite so well now Alan wasn't around. Edgar needed Alan in his life as it wasn't quite a life without him. He was no longer the Protector and the one you turned to in the dark.

It was now Edgar who needed the Protector and Edgar who turned to Alan in the dark as they prepared for what he expected to be their last battle.


End file.
